Francesca Dattilo, MSW
Certified Law of Attraction Coach
Certified Style Coach (MIASC Accred.)

Call me:  613.204.0781


  • By Francesca Dattilo
  • 05 Oct, 2017

Many of my clients are under the misconception that practicing the Law of Attraction along with the other Universal Laws means not allowing for negative emotions.  They fear that if they feel emotions that are uncomfortable or painful, then they will attract more things into their lives that they do not like, want or prefer to happen.  What I call contrast.

This in part, is true.  According to the Law of Attraction what we focus on grows or expands.  And, in line with the Law of Deliberate Creation what we focus on with emotion, we attract more quickly.   Working the Universal Laws is more about a heart-set thing than a mind-set thing.  

What I want to make clear is that our emotions, all of them, serve an important purpose.  We need to experience the painful/uncomfortable lower vibration emotions. They are our navigational system to get us back on track for what we do want to experience in life.  

We are born with 8 primary emotions: anger, sorrow, joy, surprise, fear, disgust, guilt/shame and interest.   These emotions are hard wired; meaning they are part of our biology at birth and are necessary for our survival.   All of these primary emotions can be recognized by facial expression regardless of race or culture.  

We also have what are called secondary emotions.   These emotions are learned and are some combination of the primary emotions.   The reason why these emotions are learned is because there is some thought that goes along with the emotion.  

For example, the secondary emotion of disappointment is a combination of anger and sadness.   Typically, something important to you is being blocked and you are thinking that things are not going the way you hoped or expected.  

Emotions have 3 distinct purposes:

  1. Emotions motivate and prepare us for action.

Every emotion has an action urge.   When we are happy our action urge is to continue what has prompted the happiness. When we are fearful our action urge is to avoid or flee from what we perceive is threatening.  

If we did not feel sadness when we lose people, why would we bother to build hospitals to save people who are dying?   Or, why would we do research to find a cure for cancer?  

Action urges and acting on our emotions is very helpful when our interpretation of the event or experience of the event is accurate and balanced.   Sometimes, we assume our emotions are facts and we use them to validate our thoughts and behaviors.   So, if we are not perceiving the event clearly, then our action can sometimes get us into big trouble.  

  1. Emotions communicate to and influence others.

Our facial expressions communicate faster than words.   Having both verbal and nonverbal forms of emotional expression gives us two ways to communicate.   If you walk into a room and someone is crying you are influenced to move towards that person and comfort them.   Even if they have not uttered a word.   However, if you walk into a room and a person is ranting and raving, it will influence you to turn around and walk away.  

We often misread or are confused by other people’s communication because the verbal and non-verbal messages they are sending do not match.   In this case, we are more likely to believe the non-verbal communication.  

  1. They communicate to our selves; they are self-validating.

Emotions provide us with valuable information about situations that we are in.   They are self-validating as they support our assessment of a situation.   Emotions can serve as a signal that “something is up”.   We say thing like “listen to your gut” or “this just feels right” .  

Unfortunately, we often ignore our emotions because we do not always have evidence for our feel of a situation or because others disagree.  

I spend a lot of time with my clients helping them validate their emotions because they have been taught an at early age to invalidate them. Emotions are just another way to process our world, validate our experience and get us to focus on what we do want.  

Emotions can be tricky however, knowing when to trust them and when to check out the facts of them.   Ignoring them, pushing them down or pushing them away is not the answer.   As Esther/Abraham Hicks, Law of Attraction Master and author tells us, “Don’t put a happy face sticker on your emotions!”   Pretending they do not exist and pasting a smile on your face does not change your underlying vibration.  

If we think of an iceberg, the part we can see, the surface, it may seem that you are sending out positive energy to attract what you want.   But, underneath, the more significant part of the iceberg, there is a huge chunk of negative energy that is being sent out to the Universe.   The Universe is not easily fooled.   It will respond to the bottom of the iceberg.

Allow for your emotions. Listen to their wisdom.  Use them for more clarity and for an opportunity to shift them, so you can truly be aligned with the success you desire.

Need help taking direction from your emotional navigational system?  I encourage you to contact me for a free consultation to see how I can help you achieve more, in less time, with less effort at work so you can spend more time taking care of yourself and spending time with the people you love.

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